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Sexual health educator Kim Martyn is renowned for providing objective sexual advice on national television, radio and the web, and has recently published her first book, "All The Way".

May 09, 2008.
Home  »  Categories  »  Body Beautiful  »  Time of the Month

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Time of the Month

"Hi, I just have a question for you about the female body that I was hoping you could help me out with. I've grown up in a family of three brothers and no sisters. Therefore, my knowledge of the female "time of the month" is a black area for me.

My new girlfriend and I are sexually active and every now and then she says that it is her "time of the month" and we can't have sex. Why is that? I'm guessing it is because she may have her period during sex… I really am not sure. Also, how long does this "time of the month" last?

I always just assumed that when her "time of the month" is approaching, they just wear a tampon to prepare for it, and when it happens, it happens. Then the "time of the month" is over. As you can probably see, I am lost. You're probably wondering why I want to know this. Well, honestly I want to understand my girlfriend better, and understand the do's and the don'ts to the "time of the month".

I also have one other quick question too. We have been having protected sex, but sometimes I still wonder, if she "has" her period, does that mean she is "not" pregnant?

Thank you so very much for your time. I really am confused."


Kim Martyn:
I'm glad you're seeking answers for the things that you need to know, but it makes me crazy that nobody has given you this knowledge, in a form you could understand. Your mom? School? Remember this if and when you have kids...!

Since you wrote this question awhile ago, maybe you've already asked your girlfriend - it's a good thing for a couple to talk about. Yes, it's private, but hey, you are having sex, right?

If you're still wondering, "time of the month", can mean two things. Girls talk about "safe time of the month" to mean in between periods, when she is most likely to get pregnant. This is the Russian Roulette form of birth control. People who use this method are usually called parents.

The other "time of the month" means when a girl has her period – special blood flows from the vagina. Just having your period doesn't mean you can't have intercourse, unless you are uncomfortable. Lots of women avoid this time either because they feel dirty (even though they are not) or because they don't want to have sex, maybe they just want to fool around or talk.

Finally, yes, when your girlfriend has her period, it generally means she is not pregnant. I say "generally" because there are cases of someone who is pregnant getting a period, though it's usually different from the kind she usually has.

Lots to talk about with your sweetheart next time you see her!


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