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Body Beautiful

The Beautiful People

"I just read your opinions on pornography, and about making us feel better about the way we are. I really have to disagree with you, at least in my case. I feel that beautiful porno-stars with beautiful bodies will get men turned on. I do not have breasts like Pamela Anderson, and now after having had a baby and breastfeeding, there is not much left of them at all.

Knowing that my husband watches porn, I feel really ugly and never want to be seen naked by him. Knowing that he watches all these pretty women with huge breasts has really gotten my self-esteem down. Of course, he tells me that everything is fine, but when we make love, he does not even touch or look at them but just gets to the main issue. I guess there is no other solution but silicone...

Any ideas or comments?"

Kim Martyn:
I went back and read my answer on the porn question, and I while I said that most of us get turned on by it to some degree, I also focused on exactly the same thing you're concerned about.

We can't blame porn for what's happening in a relationship, or within our own heads. When you watch TV or movies, filled with 'beautiful' Hollywood stars, does it make you less attracted, less in love with your husband? We live and work with people who have bigger breasts, smoother skin, sexier lips... and it's not as though our partners don't notice! But they can still be totally turned on by us. Fortunately, what keeps people attracted over time is a mystery... it's much more than perky boobs!

If you believe what I've just said, then you can accept yourself the way you are. Self-acceptance is a very big turn-on! You and your husband may need to talk about the porn stuff, but I hope you drop the silicone idea. Spend some time on yourself, for yourself, what makes you feel good?

Thanks for raising the topic again!

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